September 17, 2010
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My husband took the kids to hang out down at the docks on our new/used sailboat. I say “our,” but I am not that into the boat. I mean, I’m not *against* boats or the ocean or any of the fun stuff, I’m just not into hanging out on the boat, working on it, etc. Anyway, he’s down there with the kids on a Friday night, a great harbor, good friends, kids in life jackets picking mussels off the docks and feeding them to birds… or so this is the report I just got via a cell phone
I feel a little bit guilty not to be too excited or involved with my husband’s new hobby, but then I thought, why? Screw that – he can have his thing, and he’s including the kids, and I get some quiet time. Just that… there was a time when a boat would have been “our” thing – we could have hung out down there, talked, etc. etc. and so on… if this boat’s a rockin’, haha.
But now I’d rather trade the kids off for some alone time (alone) than hang out on the family boat. Oh well.
My husband and I are very different people with different interests and hobbies. Obviously, we have intellectual compatibility – and that can be defined broadly to include our views on religion, politics, etc. I’m not saying we agree on everything even in those areas, but we talk and are compatible and engage and challenge one another. But not too much on the latter… you don’t want to be constantly *challenged* in marriage… just enough to keep it interesting.
But he’s an engineer, I’m a historian. He knows how everything in the world works. I depend on him for knowing how everything works. I also frustrate him with my lack of *curiosity* about how things work! Anyway, I read and write, he does little of either, at least in the sustained way that I do, as a career and as a hobby. He has not even read any of my published works, at least not completely. He says he doesn’t need to read them because by the time they are published, he has heard all of the details and arguments in conversation with me over many preceding months and years. There is much truth to that. And just when I think, oh well, he’s just not that intersted in this or that subject… I will overhear him telling someone an interesting anecdote I wrote about or arguing for the importance of an argument I made. That makes me happy.
Do you and your partner have compatible and/or the same interests and hobbies?
We share the same cup of coffee every morning. I mean, the same mug, back and forth. We’re too young for this, aren’t we? haha. If we somehow end up with two separate mugs, I worry about the state of our relationship.
We take showers together 2-3 times per week. Saves time and water
What little things do you and your partner do to stay connected in your hectic day-to-day life?
Comments (3)
My husband does not have any hobbies other than work. It’s a subject of much discussion between us over the years. I, on the other hand, have myriad hobbies and interests and they’re ever-expanding. My husband got interested in running because of me when we first met in law school. I suppose that’s his “hobby.” He gets interested in my stuff for a while, here and there…the birds…the garden…my writing…my home improvement projects…my athletic interests…the books I read…the dog training…but he never fully adopts any of them as his own. He prefers to cheer me on, I suppose. We text and call many times daily. We eat breakfast and dinner together every day. We watch West Wing reruns in the morning together while we get ready for the day.
We would never, EVER, share the same mug.
@ordinarybutloud -
that is interesting about the hobbies… my husband has ALWAYS been man-of-a-thousand-hobbies. It drives me batty sometimes. He’s been into photography (and I mean, a bathroom converted into a home darkroom back in the old days), scuba diving, t-shirt printing, RC airplanes, motorcycles, boats, you name it. The good part is that he’s always willing to take on big projects with the kids that don’t interest me (gardening, building things, animals). I’m not complaining, just that I’m always the one who gets dragged into his hobbies, not the other way around. I wonder if we’ll ever find something we like/want to do *together.*
Oh yeah, you reminded me that we skype and text pretty much nonstop throughout the day, too
Huh. Well, we take turns tackling the Sunday crossword puzzles. Does that count as a common interest? We have our very own mugs.